Something Different... for a change

Well and now , as they say, for something different. well sort of.
Have you ever had Gastric reflux ??? If you hav`nt dont, if you have I feel for you. its horrible
Last night I was startled from sleep about 3am with the CERTAIN feeling i was going to die, I was choking, I couldnt breath, I couldnt swallow, someone had crept in and pushed something hard into my throat. It went on for about 30 secs although it felt much much longer.
Any way I got to thinking it could have killed me and all the things ive left unsaid and done, Ive always felt reasonably ok about death, I mean I dont want it to happen but its going to so why avoid the subject?. So I think Ill try to correct at least some of these oversights and what better forum to say my piece. ( no one reads this anyway ).
I would regret, more than regret not being here any more with my wife who I love dearly and I know she will carry out my funeral requests, she knows I want to go home.Our time together has , as im sure she will agree, been very very good, we may have had our moments but I wouldnt have swopped any of them for time spent with anyone else or for anything.
I wish  Matthew  was more interested in his family history, there are so many stories he doesnt know that I dont want to die with me. at sometime in the future someone will be interested and he is the next link in the Hall family. Im very happy with Matthews life, he makes me VERY proud with the family he has built and the two great, beautiful Grand children he and Em have given us. I, as always, wish we lived closer and we could see them more and know them better but life works the way it does and you have to put up with it. Matthew has never really asked about his Mum and even after 27 years there never seems to be the right moment to talk.  Once again lots of stories and experiences he might like to know but I dont know how to talk to him about her. One of my many failings not connecting with Matthew.
As regards the Grand kids, all three of them, god I will miss them and wish I could watch them grow up I feel perhaps Im a better Grandfather than I am a father.
Reece, although not my blood grandson, I love as if he was. He is a great kid, kind and despite his age thoughtful and generous. A real little boy, and I love him just as much as my own blood. The sort of throw myself under the wheels of a speeding car to save him love.
Jakey, a beautiful little lad the image of his dad and I love him just as much as I do his dad. He seems to take after the Hall side of the family, tall, skinny, and obviously good looking. Shy and talented a great kid. Once again throw my self under a car for him.
Evan, only 4 but a lovely kid. I can see Matt and Em in him and he has the best traits of both. He is still a little standoffish with me but thats his age I wish I could know him better.
All my grandchildren are very very important to me and I love none more than any other i would gladly give my life for any of them and hope they remember me with affection or at least remember me.
When I was growing up I had Grand parents who told stories about their families and we listened I wish I could pass on those stories to someone.