The other day some one suggested that each item we have in the antiques centre should have a story behind it, a history, real or fake who cares as long as it trys to be entertaining so ...
One of the women who display at this place brought in a pith helmet from the second Boer war (late 19c early 20c) the helmet was grimy, a little torn and had seen better days but considering it was over 100 years old not in bad nick. It had been originally owned by Private Lloyd Jones ( it said so inside the brim) who had been captured by the Boers during a small skirmish with a commando a month or two before the final surrender by President Kruger. Jones along with five other soldiers, all of various ranks, was taken to Johannesburg for trial, he was classed as a spy due to his lack of uniform (exactly where his uniform had gone is open to question as Private Lloyd gay boy Jones never revealed the answer.) So the trial began our hero ( Lloyd Jones) bravely refused to answer questions only revealing his name rank and serial number despite the threats of torture, he was beaten on many occasions and finally having been found guilty was executed by firing squad early on the morning of January 2nd 1901 along with 4 others and buried in unconsecrated ground outside a pig farm. He may have been offered leniency but his decision to only address the judge and court as either "dearie" or " you rotten bastard Boer" may have influenced matters.
The helmet was finally returned to his wife (despite the nick name) and was kept in pride of place by his widow and only son David whom he had never seen. After the death of his mother young David also kept the helmet in a place of honour but, having never married, upon his death late in the 20th century the helmet was passed from hand to hand, from cousin to 2nd cousin ending up eventually in a car boot sale and finally being purchased for £5 and displayed as an antique with no history or past.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
The Rotten Bastards
Well gentle listeners its been one of those days,
yet again I may add,
one of those days you feel that you`re just beginning to keep your head above water, just thinking "hey perhaps I CAN make it, it wasnt such a bad idea" when some rotten, sniveling, thieving, illigitmate, son of a bitch comes along and , no doubt smirking to himself, put his hands around your neck and pulls you down in the murky depths of his shit hole.
Up untill this morning I seemed to be doing ok, not good you understand but ok, making a little money and feeling reasonably happy with the world. When some evil little sod, no doubt with more muscles than either brains or integrity, steals a beautiful brooch from the cabinet in my unit £135.00 ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS it was worth, the whole of this weeks profit wiped out in one single thoughtless action by someone with the morals of a cockroach.
Well I hope it chokes the bastard, I hope someone steals it from him along with every thing hes got and leaves him bleeding in a dark rat infested alley, crawling with his slimey relatives, amongst rubbish, shit, and used condoms
Its not often I feel this way but for gods sake what makes him or her, come to that, think they have the right to steal from me.
I don`t really want him to be found bleeding in a back alley, i`m not like that
I don`t want him FOUND at all BASTARD
As my Granny would say "I`m so annoyed I could Spit"
yet again I may add,
one of those days you feel that you`re just beginning to keep your head above water, just thinking "hey perhaps I CAN make it, it wasnt such a bad idea" when some rotten, sniveling, thieving, illigitmate, son of a bitch comes along and , no doubt smirking to himself, put his hands around your neck and pulls you down in the murky depths of his shit hole.
Up untill this morning I seemed to be doing ok, not good you understand but ok, making a little money and feeling reasonably happy with the world. When some evil little sod, no doubt with more muscles than either brains or integrity, steals a beautiful brooch from the cabinet in my unit £135.00 ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS it was worth, the whole of this weeks profit wiped out in one single thoughtless action by someone with the morals of a cockroach.
Well I hope it chokes the bastard, I hope someone steals it from him along with every thing hes got and leaves him bleeding in a dark rat infested alley, crawling with his slimey relatives, amongst rubbish, shit, and used condoms
Its not often I feel this way but for gods sake what makes him or her, come to that, think they have the right to steal from me.
I don`t really want him to be found bleeding in a back alley, i`m not like that
I don`t want him FOUND at all BASTARD
As my Granny would say "I`m so annoyed I could Spit"
Friday, 4 February 2011
Time Passes............but only slowly
Well hello ....long time no see as they say
Thing are progressing s l o w l y as usual, I'm trying to rent premises again but the agent is, to put it mildly, dragging his feet, you'd think they were going to give us money not the other way around, always away from his desk, or on holiday. The whole business is stupid I'm having to spend money to survive when it should be being used to help create the Empire, I tell you when I rule the world it will be a whole different place, storm troopers, CCTV cameras every where,mass executions of business rivals, perhaps I can compose an anthem for the cringing populace to march to........ you know the sort of thing. ( I`m beginning to think I may need a lie down in a nice quiet room with a nice bed they can strap me to)
When the Empire finally gets going I believe it will be a success we`ll have loads of money, Please God, and I`m going to be one of those dodgy dealers with a finger in every pie and a large roll of cash in his back pocket always ready for the next deal, a sort of David Dickinson with a conscience. Who am I kidding I have`nt got a conscience and don't want one either thanks very much. I`m sick to death of being ripped off by everyone, every body want a piece of me perhaps I`m being a little on the paranoid side but thats the way life makes me feel, I even wonder at nice pleasant old men and women whether or not their smiles are hiding yet another devious way of taking my money.
In a perfect world, he said wistfully, I`d like to do this new business alone, just the two of us cause we`re good together, but it really looks like we need a partner, one with a little money who`ll keep his/her mouth shut and just let us get on with it but thats not going to happen so all we can do is to make the best of it with the little money we`ve got and keep the Empire building for another day...............
Then again................................
Thing are progressing s l o w l y as usual, I'm trying to rent premises again but the agent is, to put it mildly, dragging his feet, you'd think they were going to give us money not the other way around, always away from his desk, or on holiday. The whole business is stupid I'm having to spend money to survive when it should be being used to help create the Empire, I tell you when I rule the world it will be a whole different place, storm troopers, CCTV cameras every where,mass executions of business rivals, perhaps I can compose an anthem for the cringing populace to march to........ you know the sort of thing. ( I`m beginning to think I may need a lie down in a nice quiet room with a nice bed they can strap me to)
When the Empire finally gets going I believe it will be a success we`ll have loads of money, Please God, and I`m going to be one of those dodgy dealers with a finger in every pie and a large roll of cash in his back pocket always ready for the next deal, a sort of David Dickinson with a conscience. Who am I kidding I have`nt got a conscience and don't want one either thanks very much. I`m sick to death of being ripped off by everyone, every body want a piece of me perhaps I`m being a little on the paranoid side but thats the way life makes me feel, I even wonder at nice pleasant old men and women whether or not their smiles are hiding yet another devious way of taking my money.
In a perfect world, he said wistfully, I`d like to do this new business alone, just the two of us cause we`re good together, but it really looks like we need a partner, one with a little money who`ll keep his/her mouth shut and just let us get on with it but thats not going to happen so all we can do is to make the best of it with the little money we`ve got and keep the Empire building for another day...............
Then again................................
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Still Here...through no fault of my own
Well Hello every one..Hows tricks?
I suppose that you now think, well every thing must be ok... hes not been on this for ages, hes got a job.
Well no I havent Im "working" for my self or should i say we`re working for our selves as the wife does do her share.
We`re buying and selling antiques.........well we`re buying them, selling them is a completely different subject.
In fact weve just come back from a short holiday in scotland.nice place but god they know how to charge you.
As regards life, well its been worse, i cant complain, well i can and no doubt will at some point after i stop driveling on.
we`re trying to get a little help through the tax credit people. a month ago i applied for the help, still i sit and await a missive from the great and the good, they will write back ,i know they will i trust them... I do really, but bloody hell WHEN.
As usual EVERYBODY is trying to rip us off, advertisers, auctioneers, customers, other dealers.......everyone wants a piece of you when you try to make a living honestly.
What is going to happen when the VAT goes up in January i really dont know. one little thing i do realise is that the price of things wont just go up by 2 1/2% it will go through the roof and everybody will be whinging on as they dont know enough to expect it
I really have to stop this rambling on jumping from subject to subject.but it does help me vent some spleen.
I get really sick of everybody going on...... we all know what sort of condition the country is in and we all know who going to pay for it...us. why on earth the TUC should suggest srike action and even civil disobience i do not know. surely that would only make thing worse, or are they just spouting labour retoric.......wonder what they`d be saying if labour had won the last election.......labour are ignoring thier grass roots, bring back old labour, who knows
I suppose that you now think, well every thing must be ok... hes not been on this for ages, hes got a job.
Well no I havent Im "working" for my self or should i say we`re working for our selves as the wife does do her share.
We`re buying and selling antiques.........well we`re buying them, selling them is a completely different subject.
In fact weve just come back from a short holiday in scotland.nice place but god they know how to charge you.
As regards life, well its been worse, i cant complain, well i can and no doubt will at some point after i stop driveling on.
we`re trying to get a little help through the tax credit people. a month ago i applied for the help, still i sit and await a missive from the great and the good, they will write back ,i know they will i trust them... I do really, but bloody hell WHEN.
As usual EVERYBODY is trying to rip us off, advertisers, auctioneers, customers, other dealers.......everyone wants a piece of you when you try to make a living honestly.
What is going to happen when the VAT goes up in January i really dont know. one little thing i do realise is that the price of things wont just go up by 2 1/2% it will go through the roof and everybody will be whinging on as they dont know enough to expect it
I really have to stop this rambling on jumping from subject to subject.but it does help me vent some spleen.
I get really sick of everybody going on...... we all know what sort of condition the country is in and we all know who going to pay for it...us. why on earth the TUC should suggest srike action and even civil disobience i do not know. surely that would only make thing worse, or are they just spouting labour retoric.......wonder what they`d be saying if labour had won the last election.......labour are ignoring thier grass roots, bring back old labour, who knows
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Back Again
Well did you miss me?,
I know,you didn't even realise id gone.
Well where have I been??? The south of France? , US of A? , a relaxing holiday in the Seychelles ( I think that's how you spell it) No, nowhere the lovely people at Virgin decided to cut us off, phone, television and Internet on Christmas day, aren't they yuletidy? full of the Christmas spirit. I cant really blame them we did owe them £50. so as usual we borrowed yet more money to pay them, cant have nice Richard Branson doing with only owning ONE island can we.
You've probably realised already that were still out of work, but on the good side we did get the arrears sorted out for being disallowed benefit back in October a whole £250 whoo hoo let the good times roll. Unfortunately it didn't wing its merry way to us till AFTER Christmas, the benefit staff couldn't miss their party could they. Still all the family got home knitted scarfs and hats courtesy of the Wife's skills.
The job search still goes on and on and on etc its getting both of us down i must admit but what else can we do?
I know,you didn't even realise id gone.
Well where have I been??? The south of France? , US of A? , a relaxing holiday in the Seychelles ( I think that's how you spell it) No, nowhere the lovely people at Virgin decided to cut us off, phone, television and Internet on Christmas day, aren't they yuletidy? full of the Christmas spirit. I cant really blame them we did owe them £50. so as usual we borrowed yet more money to pay them, cant have nice Richard Branson doing with only owning ONE island can we.
You've probably realised already that were still out of work, but on the good side we did get the arrears sorted out for being disallowed benefit back in October a whole £250 whoo hoo let the good times roll. Unfortunately it didn't wing its merry way to us till AFTER Christmas, the benefit staff couldn't miss their party could they. Still all the family got home knitted scarfs and hats courtesy of the Wife's skills.
The job search still goes on and on and on etc its getting both of us down i must admit but what else can we do?
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
I NEED A JOB
Here I am again happy as can be!???? what ME?
no not really.
Finally I have had an interview, in fact Ive had 2 1/2 interviews all for the same job. OK I can hear you "you cant have 1/2 an interview" oh yes you can. Now settle down and let me tell you the story.
The Job centre are getting nasty and are now insisting we apply for completely unsuitable jobs. The main one they decided I was to go for was shift Manager Chef
( sounds ok at first glance doesnt it?) ( can something SOUND ok at first GLANCE ?)
Interview One Wednesday
Any way shining my shoes and putting on clothes that make me LOOK respectable at least, off I went to the interview. The pub turned out to be a two for one eating house ( that put me off straight away) but come on , i need a job so in i go you know the sort of place, it had at some time in the distant past been a nice country local but now?, shut up you NEED a job, Ok first interview just a five minute chat with the Manager, pleasant enough chap, could i come for a working interview with the chef manager? yes of course, Right see you Sunday.
Sunday Interview Two
I show up right on time with clean, if not new whites, and I think i look quite professional, chef Manager is wearing a dirty chefs jacket, which had been white at sometime, along with his outside shoes ( dirty trainers), a greasy green base ball cap ( turned round the wrong way) and a pair of old combat trousers. Hmmmmm I thought,oh well never mind, i NEED a job. Any way we chatted, as it turned out he was a really nice lad only 24 but ok, yes i can work with this guy. I read through the manual, idiot proof, you dont need a chef to do this but, never mind i NEED a job.
Twelve o`clock comes, service time, Ive never been so taken aback, pre cooked roast potatos, sliced pre cooked beef and lamb with gravy in little plastic pouches, frozen veg, frozen mashed potatos, frozen individual portions of " homemade" soup, i can go on but the list is too long, just imagine ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING and it was either chilled or frozen, have you ever seen a pre cooked omellet? its disgusting. Just remember i NEED a job. So i stayed and worked as best as possible, (i cant say cooked) during the three hours i was there i chatted to the chef manager and it turns out HE will not eat the food he send out to his customers, he thinks its crap and i agree. I`ve worked as a professional Chef for 25 years in total and never in all that time have i been so....so ashamed of serving food like that but.....i NEED a job.
So my shift finishes and after a little more chat with Chef manager i ask him to have the Manager call me that evening or the next day to finallise the details, you know pay, etc.
Next day dawns, no call, lunch time , no call. so i rang him " oh right , tell you what come in on Tuesday at 5 and we`ll have a chat", yes ok see you then.
Tuesday 1/2 interview
Five o`clock, fight my way through the evening traffic, spending money I have`nt got on petrol, but I NEED a job and I get there just before 5 "Hi" I say to the barmaid " is ????? available?". No Its his day off. Thats all I got.
No wonder i get so fucking sick, why couldnt he just say sorry you`r not suitable, thanks for your time?
I know I would`nt have been happy there but I NEED A JOB!!! and I would have managed and done the best I could for a few months at least.
Employers are so crap, no wonder no one has any loyalty any more when we`re all treated like this.
If you come away with nothing else from this story of woe and disapointment just remember...........
NEVER EAT IN A TWO FOR ONE ESTABLISHMENT you really don`t know just what your going to get or how it was prepared or by who
no not really.
Finally I have had an interview, in fact Ive had 2 1/2 interviews all for the same job. OK I can hear you "you cant have 1/2 an interview" oh yes you can. Now settle down and let me tell you the story.
The Job centre are getting nasty and are now insisting we apply for completely unsuitable jobs. The main one they decided I was to go for was shift Manager Chef
( sounds ok at first glance doesnt it?) ( can something SOUND ok at first GLANCE ?)
Interview One Wednesday
Any way shining my shoes and putting on clothes that make me LOOK respectable at least, off I went to the interview. The pub turned out to be a two for one eating house ( that put me off straight away) but come on , i need a job so in i go you know the sort of place, it had at some time in the distant past been a nice country local but now?, shut up you NEED a job, Ok first interview just a five minute chat with the Manager, pleasant enough chap, could i come for a working interview with the chef manager? yes of course, Right see you Sunday.
Sunday Interview Two
I show up right on time with clean, if not new whites, and I think i look quite professional, chef Manager is wearing a dirty chefs jacket, which had been white at sometime, along with his outside shoes ( dirty trainers), a greasy green base ball cap ( turned round the wrong way) and a pair of old combat trousers. Hmmmmm I thought,oh well never mind, i NEED a job. Any way we chatted, as it turned out he was a really nice lad only 24 but ok, yes i can work with this guy. I read through the manual, idiot proof, you dont need a chef to do this but, never mind i NEED a job.
Twelve o`clock comes, service time, Ive never been so taken aback, pre cooked roast potatos, sliced pre cooked beef and lamb with gravy in little plastic pouches, frozen veg, frozen mashed potatos, frozen individual portions of " homemade" soup, i can go on but the list is too long, just imagine ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING and it was either chilled or frozen, have you ever seen a pre cooked omellet? its disgusting. Just remember i NEED a job. So i stayed and worked as best as possible, (i cant say cooked) during the three hours i was there i chatted to the chef manager and it turns out HE will not eat the food he send out to his customers, he thinks its crap and i agree. I`ve worked as a professional Chef for 25 years in total and never in all that time have i been so....so ashamed of serving food like that but.....i NEED a job.
So my shift finishes and after a little more chat with Chef manager i ask him to have the Manager call me that evening or the next day to finallise the details, you know pay, etc.
Next day dawns, no call, lunch time , no call. so i rang him " oh right , tell you what come in on Tuesday at 5 and we`ll have a chat", yes ok see you then.
Tuesday 1/2 interview
Five o`clock, fight my way through the evening traffic, spending money I have`nt got on petrol, but I NEED a job and I get there just before 5 "Hi" I say to the barmaid " is ????? available?". No Its his day off. Thats all I got.
No wonder i get so fucking sick, why couldnt he just say sorry you`r not suitable, thanks for your time?
I know I would`nt have been happy there but I NEED A JOB!!! and I would have managed and done the best I could for a few months at least.
Employers are so crap, no wonder no one has any loyalty any more when we`re all treated like this.
If you come away with nothing else from this story of woe and disapointment just remember...........
NEVER EAT IN A TWO FOR ONE ESTABLISHMENT you really don`t know just what your going to get or how it was prepared or by who
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
More dole ( sorry) Job seekers news
Are`nt the dole hopeless ?, they send letter after letter but NEVER acknowledge my replies. we`re having a bit of bother with out benefit, yes I know be grateful for anything you get, well we are, especially when we`re not Muslim, coloured, refugees, single parent families,gay, lesbian, we appreciate every little penny we get.
BUT ( I bet any readers now dread that word from me)
We are living on £64.00 per week, the word living does`nt really cover exactly what we`re doing as you can imagine. This is after the dole has decided in its wisdom to invalidate our claim because I didn't take up a job opportunity, a job i may add that they didn't inform me they expected me to apply for. I don't have qualifications in typing ( as you may gather) or a degree in maths,or anything else required by the employers. So I wrote to them and waited, eventually I rang " sorry we have`nt received any correspondence from you, perhaps its the postal strikes " it turned out that the person i was talking to had no responsibility,( any way how come no one has any responsibility any more) so they put me through to the DECISION MAKERS ( i don`t know but i really hope these people are old men in long white robes with long white beards who only meet under the light of the new moon surrounded by acolyte's and supplicant petitioners all holding lit torches and chanting UB 40, UB 40) Sorry I drifted off there, any way one of the DECISION MAKERS assistants finally gives in and reluctantly gives me an e-mail address and i promise NOT to give it to ANY one else on penalty of a slow and painful death and i e-mail my appeal, its the wrong e-mail address only meant for internal communications. So I ring them again and explain the whole situation again, i did ask for the same person but shes gone on a month long sabbatical to a health farm for weary civil servants some where in the Bahamas, poor girl. But eventually I manage to arrange an appointment to send the appeal from my job centre direct, by now I'm getting a little wary of civil service procedures so I thought Id be sneaky and ring and check they'd got it.
This is the way the conversation went:
Hello?
Yes hello ,is that Bolton DBC?
Emmm yeah
Hi can I give you a reference number ?
Emmmm yeah
ok reference ..............
Emmmmmm can you repeat that?
Yes of course Reference .............
Yessssss was that a Y or a Z
Y
ok can I take your name
Yes of course.... ....
National Insurance Number?
.......... ok should I repeat that?
your address?
Ok ....... ..... .... etc
where do you sign on?
Warrington Cheshire
What day do you sign on?
Thursday
What account do you get paid into?
( you think Im telling you? ) ... I told them though
Is it a joint claim?
yes
Who are you claiming with?
My wife
Whats her name?
Lesley
Is she your partner or wife?
My wife
Whats her date of birth?
03/12/79
Ok them Mr B.... what can we do for you?
H.... my names H....
Oh........ hang on.... mummble mummble right, oh, yes tuesday, really she didnt? mummble, mummble, short burst of muted song, Oh shit, God sorry Id.... emmm right got you , now what can we do for you?
hi again Im just calling to make sure your office has received an appeal I had scanned through to you by Warrington Job Centre.
What was it regarding?
An appeal against a decision
Oh, they`re very busy you know They`ll get to it though. The DECISION MAKERS only meet when theres a Z in the month ( I made that bit up)
Is it possible to speak to who ever is dealing with my case?
No sorry.
Is there any one I can talk to about this?
Sorry No, once the case is in the hands of the DECISION MAKERS no one can make a decision until a decision is made.
Right so I can`t speak to any one? but you have received the appeal letter?
Oh yes it arrived yesterday.
right thank you Ill call again.
The unfortunate thing is that this girl really thought she was helping, so at least one of us was happy.
BUT ( I bet any readers now dread that word from me)
We are living on £64.00 per week, the word living does`nt really cover exactly what we`re doing as you can imagine. This is after the dole has decided in its wisdom to invalidate our claim because I didn't take up a job opportunity, a job i may add that they didn't inform me they expected me to apply for. I don't have qualifications in typing ( as you may gather) or a degree in maths,or anything else required by the employers. So I wrote to them and waited, eventually I rang " sorry we have`nt received any correspondence from you, perhaps its the postal strikes " it turned out that the person i was talking to had no responsibility,( any way how come no one has any responsibility any more) so they put me through to the DECISION MAKERS ( i don`t know but i really hope these people are old men in long white robes with long white beards who only meet under the light of the new moon surrounded by acolyte's and supplicant petitioners all holding lit torches and chanting UB 40, UB 40) Sorry I drifted off there, any way one of the DECISION MAKERS assistants finally gives in and reluctantly gives me an e-mail address and i promise NOT to give it to ANY one else on penalty of a slow and painful death and i e-mail my appeal, its the wrong e-mail address only meant for internal communications. So I ring them again and explain the whole situation again, i did ask for the same person but shes gone on a month long sabbatical to a health farm for weary civil servants some where in the Bahamas, poor girl. But eventually I manage to arrange an appointment to send the appeal from my job centre direct, by now I'm getting a little wary of civil service procedures so I thought Id be sneaky and ring and check they'd got it.
This is the way the conversation went:
Hello?
Yes hello ,is that Bolton DBC?
Emmm yeah
Hi can I give you a reference number ?
Emmmm yeah
ok reference ..............
Emmmmmm can you repeat that?
Yes of course Reference .............
Yessssss was that a Y or a Z
Y
ok can I take your name
Yes of course.... ....
National Insurance Number?
.......... ok should I repeat that?
your address?
Ok ....... ..... .... etc
where do you sign on?
Warrington Cheshire
What day do you sign on?
Thursday
What account do you get paid into?
( you think Im telling you? ) ... I told them though
Is it a joint claim?
yes
Who are you claiming with?
My wife
Whats her name?
Lesley
Is she your partner or wife?
My wife
Whats her date of birth?
03/12/79
Ok them Mr B.... what can we do for you?
H.... my names H....
Oh........ hang on.... mummble mummble right, oh, yes tuesday, really she didnt? mummble, mummble, short burst of muted song, Oh shit, God sorry Id.... emmm right got you , now what can we do for you?
hi again Im just calling to make sure your office has received an appeal I had scanned through to you by Warrington Job Centre.
What was it regarding?
An appeal against a decision
Oh, they`re very busy you know They`ll get to it though. The DECISION MAKERS only meet when theres a Z in the month ( I made that bit up)
Is it possible to speak to who ever is dealing with my case?
No sorry.
Is there any one I can talk to about this?
Sorry No, once the case is in the hands of the DECISION MAKERS no one can make a decision until a decision is made.
Right so I can`t speak to any one? but you have received the appeal letter?
Oh yes it arrived yesterday.
right thank you Ill call again.
The unfortunate thing is that this girl really thought she was helping, so at least one of us was happy.
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