I NEED A JOB

Here I am again happy as can be!???? what ME?
no not really.
Finally I have had an interview, in fact Ive had 2 1/2 interviews all for the same job. OK I can hear you "you cant have 1/2 an interview" oh yes you can. Now settle down and let me tell you the story.
The Job centre are getting nasty and are now insisting we apply for completely unsuitable jobs. The main one they decided I was to go for was shift Manager Chef
( sounds ok at first glance doesnt it?) ( can something SOUND ok at first GLANCE ?)

Interview One Wednesday
Any way shining my shoes and putting on clothes that make me LOOK respectable at least, off I went to the interview. The pub turned out to be a two for one eating house ( that put me off straight away) but come on , i need a job so in i go you know the sort of place, it had at some time in the distant past been a nice country local but now?, shut up you NEED a job, Ok first interview just a five minute chat with the Manager, pleasant enough chap, could i come for a working interview with the chef manager? yes of course, Right see you Sunday.

Sunday Interview Two
I show up right on time with clean, if not new whites, and I think i look quite professional, chef Manager is wearing a dirty chefs jacket, which had been white at sometime, along with his outside shoes ( dirty trainers), a greasy green base ball cap ( turned round the wrong way) and a pair of old combat trousers. Hmmmmm I thought,oh well never mind, i NEED a job. Any way we chatted, as it turned out he was a really nice lad only 24 but ok, yes i can work with this guy. I read through the manual, idiot proof, you dont need a chef to do this but, never mind i NEED a job.
Twelve o`clock comes, service time, Ive never been so taken aback, pre cooked roast potatos, sliced pre cooked beef and lamb with gravy in little plastic pouches, frozen veg, frozen mashed potatos, frozen individual portions of " homemade" soup, i can go on but the list is too long, just imagine ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING and it was either chilled or frozen, have you ever seen a pre cooked omellet? its disgusting. Just remember i NEED a job. So i stayed and worked as best as possible, (i cant say cooked) during the three hours i was there i chatted to the chef manager and it turns out HE will not eat the food he send out to his customers, he thinks its crap and i agree. I`ve worked as a professional Chef for 25 years in total and never in all that time have i been so....so ashamed of serving food like that but.....i NEED a job.
So my shift finishes and after a little more chat with Chef manager i ask him to have the Manager call me that evening or the next day to finallise the details, you know pay, etc.
Next day dawns, no call, lunch time , no call. so i rang him " oh right , tell you what come in on Tuesday at 5 and we`ll have a chat", yes ok see you then.


Tuesday 1/2 interview
Five o`clock, fight my way through the evening traffic, spending money I have`nt got on petrol, but I NEED a job and I get there just before 5 "Hi" I say to the barmaid " is ????? available?". No Its his day off. Thats all I got.
No wonder i get so fucking sick, why couldnt he just say sorry you`r not suitable, thanks for your time?
I know I would`nt have been happy there but I NEED A JOB!!! and I would have managed and done the best I could for a few months at least.
Employers are so crap, no wonder no one has any loyalty any more when we`re all treated like this.

If you come away with nothing else from this story of woe and disapointment just remember...........
NEVER EAT IN A TWO FOR ONE ESTABLISHMENT you really don`t know just what your going to get or how it was prepared or by who

More dole ( sorry) Job seekers news

Are`nt the dole hopeless ?, they send letter after letter but NEVER acknowledge my replies. we`re having a bit of bother with out benefit, yes I know be grateful for anything you get, well we are, especially when we`re not Muslim, coloured, refugees, single parent families,gay, lesbian, we appreciate every little penny we get.

BUT ( I bet any readers now dread that word from me)

We are living on £64.00 per week, the word living does`nt really cover exactly what we`re doing as you can imagine. This is after the dole has decided in its wisdom to invalidate our claim because I didn't take up a job opportunity, a job i may add that they didn't inform me they expected me to apply for. I don't have qualifications in typing ( as you may gather) or a degree in maths,or anything else required by the employers. So I wrote to them and waited, eventually I rang " sorry we have`nt received any correspondence from you, perhaps its the postal strikes " it turned out that the person i was talking to had no responsibility,( any way how come no one has any responsibility any more) so they put me through to the DECISION MAKERS ( i don`t know but i really hope these people are old men in long white robes with long white beards who only meet under the light of the new moon surrounded by acolyte's and supplicant petitioners all holding lit torches and chanting UB 40, UB 40) Sorry I drifted off there, any way one of the DECISION MAKERS assistants finally gives in and reluctantly gives me an e-mail address and i promise NOT to give it to ANY one else on penalty of a slow and painful death and i e-mail my appeal, its the wrong e-mail address only meant for internal communications. So I ring them again and explain the whole situation again, i did ask for the same person but shes gone on a month long sabbatical to a health farm for weary civil servants some where in the Bahamas, poor girl. But eventually I manage to arrange an appointment to send the appeal from my job centre direct, by now I'm getting a little wary of civil service procedures so I thought Id be sneaky and ring and check they'd got it.

This is the way the conversation went:
Hello?
Yes hello ,is that Bolton DBC?
Emmm yeah
Hi can I give you a reference number ?
Emmmm yeah
ok reference ..............
Emmmmmm can you repeat that?
Yes of course Reference .............
Yessssss was that a Y or a Z
Y
ok can I take your name
Yes of course.... ....
National Insurance Number?
.......... ok should I repeat that?
your address?
Ok ....... ..... .... etc
where do you sign on?
Warrington Cheshire
What day do you sign on?
Thursday
What account do you get paid into?
( you think Im telling you? ) ... I told them though
Is it a joint claim?
yes
Who are you claiming with?
My wife
Whats her name?
Lesley
Is she your partner or wife?
My wife
Whats her date of birth?
03/12/79
Ok them Mr B.... what can we do for you?
H.... my names H....
Oh........ hang on.... mummble mummble right, oh, yes tuesday, really she didnt? mummble, mummble, short burst of muted song, Oh shit, God sorry Id.... emmm right got you , now what can we do for you?
hi again Im just calling to make sure your office has received an appeal I had scanned through to you by Warrington Job Centre.
What was it regarding?
An appeal against a decision
Oh, they`re very busy you know They`ll get to it though. The DECISION MAKERS only meet when theres a Z in the month ( I made that bit up)
Is it possible to speak to who ever is dealing with my case?
No sorry.
Is there any one I can talk to about this?
Sorry No, once the case is in the hands of the DECISION MAKERS no one can make a decision until a decision is made.
Right so I can`t speak to any one? but you have received the appeal letter?
Oh yes it arrived yesterday.
right thank you Ill call again.

The unfortunate thing is that this girl really thought she was helping, so at least one of us was happy.